Talking Heartbreaking Loss not Death with Diane Diaz Rodriguez, Grief Wellness Educator, Consultant, Agent, Advocate, Author & Speaker.
What if no one has died?
Grief isn’t only experienced when someone has died. Grief happens with any perceived loss and can show up in different feelings, thoughts or emotions. As it relates to this type of grief I provide services for women who are going through a break up.
Here are some examples of how grief shows up:
In broken-relationships - Grief looks like:
A sense of lost identity – a piece of you is missing
Depression
Emotionally withdrawing, shutting down or disconnecting
Resentment when needs aren’t/weren’t being met
Questioning your relationship
Continued arguments
Feeling disconnected
Sadness when reflecting what you believed the relationship would be like and the reality of what it was not
Feeling rejected, lost or alone
Self-doubt
Being critical or being criticized
Being betrayed – lack of trust
Emotionally drained
Detoxing codependent tendencies
Difficulty coping with demands within the relationship
Negative self-talk
Excessive worry or anxiety
Low self-esteem – feeling inadequate
Significant instability
Neglectful experiencing
Feeling vulnerable
Painful memories/experiences
Lack of nurturing
Lack of contact- avoiding closeness/intimacy
Difficulty with effective communication, no communication or lacking communication
In life-transition – retirement, chronic illness, terminal disease, empty nesting, new relationship/marriage, becoming a parent, divorce, break-up, demotion, promotion or aging
Grief looks like:
Tearful spells
Strong emotions and reactions when speaking of the event
Lack of appetite
Sleep disturbance
Feeling discouraged
Thoughts have been dominated by the experience
Uncertainty of what the next stage of life brings
The loss of a positive support network
Avoiding talking about the transition
Being vague or superficial with the acknowledgement of deeper rooted feelings
Feeling guilt, shame, remorse for things done or left undone
Difficult adjusting to the new normal
Lack of meaning in life
Overwhelmed with lack of time or too much time
Experiencing difficulty and anxiety with new demands
Isolation and sadness
Feeling bored
Spiritual confusion
Little or no motivation
With a move - Grief looks like:
Lost connections
Less interactions with people, places or things that were part of your daily routine before the move
Isolation due too little or no new social support, friends, family, good neighbors
The uncertainty of learning a new area
Melancholy with memories
Missing an old lifestyle
Feeling lonely even when surrounded by people
Resentment, anger or sadness because of the reasons/circumstances for the move
Resentment, anger or sadness because of the reasons/circumstances for the move
Feeling incredibly sad
Confusion with intense emotions where initially the move may have been perceived as exciting
Emotional outburst
General irritability
Anxiety about the future
Negative attitudes about new possibilities
Bleak outlook on life and or
Suppressed rage